Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Looking for things that don't make me angry.
Today was a good day. My little kids made me laugh, as they often do. My oldest told me I was a good mom for visiting her at college. (Yeah, go mom!) A neighbor brought me 3 2 liter bottles of Pepsi free wanting nothing but some plain vinegar in return! (lucky right?) Pepsi for vinegar? I'll take it! My husband who has been unemployed twice in the last 3 years got a good lead on a job. Awesome! an income would be nice. He took his resume in person! God please get him an interview.
Reasons to be angry: Had to tell the kids (our kids, not the ones I babysit) that their Nana has small cell lung cancer. The prognosis for that type of cancer is not good. Very angry! A little girl I used to babysit had her first radiation treatment today for brain cancer. She is five. Really angry! Pissed!
Then I remember when things are going bad and you choose to believe that you have faith. I have Faith. I have Faith that my family will survive until husband gets a job. I have faith that we will see Nana again in Heaven whenever her time her on earth is over. I have faith that this cancer that is in Ella Reid's little brain can be cured. It is faith that gets me through another day.
With all that is cattywumpus right now, I need to keep my hands busy. Normally I would cook. Trouble is when I cook, I eat. Problem with that is that I tend to gain weight! This was on my mind today when a great idea came to me. I could sell my homemade hair bows to help raise much needed money for Ella Reid. I need to do something to help her and her family. Seriously, I have a need to help them and while usually I would consider this behavior co dependant in this case it is genuine concern and a feeling of helplessness. I can not cure cancer, and I am not wealthy, hell, husband not working, HELLO I can make bows with my hands and my creativity and people will buy them and the money can go into Ella Reid's account. Suddenly I have a purpose, I have Faith and I have a plan that will help Ella Reid. I am for the moment happy. Very happy.
Reasons to be angry: Had to tell the kids (our kids, not the ones I babysit) that their Nana has small cell lung cancer. The prognosis for that type of cancer is not good. Very angry! A little girl I used to babysit had her first radiation treatment today for brain cancer. She is five. Really angry! Pissed!
Then I remember when things are going bad and you choose to believe that you have faith. I have Faith. I have Faith that my family will survive until husband gets a job. I have faith that we will see Nana again in Heaven whenever her time her on earth is over. I have faith that this cancer that is in Ella Reid's little brain can be cured. It is faith that gets me through another day.
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